08 December 2004

On Constitutional Amendments

Leave my Constitution alone, dammit!

Please refer to the previously unpublished “Heywood’s Second Maxim on The Big Issues”: “There is no Issue currently in the public conscientiousness that merits Amending the Constitution of the United States of America”

Not one. Nada. Zip. Zero. Not in our lifetime. Not unless I am suddenly appointed Emperor, in which case as my First Official Act I will, permanently and Constitutionally, ban Astroturf and the Designated Hitter rule from Baseball. I’m willing to entertain arguments about Astroturf (you’ll lose), but the DH is Right.Out. Now, about that fookin’ tax code.....

“Gay Marriage”? Non-issue. The “Arnold” amendment? Piss off. The Founding Fathers were almost all born abroad, they put the “native born” caveat in The Document for a reason. “Abortion”? (The mere word has been mentioned! He has mentioned The Very Word, we must stone the heretic!) Issue.Not.Defined. I owe both of our regular readers a position paper on That Issue; it is forthcoming. I’ve managed to get caught up in an seemingly endless “edit / re-write” loop, but I’ll get it out soon. I almost promise.....

Practically speaking, getting a Constitutional Amendment passed and ratified in this Day and Age is next to impossible. Hell’s bells, the 16th Amendment didn’t really make it all the way through the process. I refer you to Article V of our Most Beloved Document: two-thirds of Congress have to decide it’s necessary, then three-quarters of the State Legislatures have to ratify it? Puh-lease.

Not.Going.To.Happen. Not now. Maybe in Condi’s second term.....
You want to talk about repealing the 16th and the 22th amendmends? Call me, let's talk


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