Fun ways to frustrate liberals

At lunch last Wednesday, I inadvertently found my self at the table with a true blue liberal. (WTF? When did liberals become “blue”? They were always “red”, as in “commie”, back in the day. But I digress.....) Good guy, not a sniveling knob wanker like you’d expect from a leftist.

The largely light hearted and friendly conversation turned to matters political because some nimrod started talking about billy jeff blythe clinton. I was not in the mood for serious poli-talk, after all, I was still magnanimously basking in the glory of the elections and they had just brought out a fresh pan of beef taquitos for the buffet and therefore I was just a little distracted.

So I sat and stuffed my face and chimed in with pot shots on the conversation. Some of my comments really pissed off and frustrated my most liberal friend. Presented for you here are a few examples of my contributions to the conversation, you’ll have to just imagine the course of the conversation at the time:

• “I don’t care who the Bush administration bombs, as long as my Halliburton dividends get direct-deposited to my account on the first Monday of the month” (I thought his head was going to explode)
• “Four more years of lower taxes and dead terrorists? I can live with that” (Special thanks to Frank J. @ www.imao.us for the clarity. Now go buy his T-shirt, dammit)
• “Does anyone know where I can get a ‘I love Halliburton’ T-shirt” (His response was un-reportable on a family blog such as this)
• “Oh, so Condi and Colin are in their positions merely as ‘lip service’ to minorities? I guess GWB can’t live up to billy jeff blythe clinton’s record for appointing minorities to Cabinet positions. No, wait......” (Guacamole came out of his nose, at least I hope it was guacamole)